Wow, I don't think I have cried outside of movies and music for years. This is all so strange...
Thanks everyone for the hugs and all that. You're the best :)
Like I wrote about just a couple of entries ago, my dad has been feeling very ill the last month. His back has been aching and he hasn't really been able to do anything. He has always had a lot of back and migraine problems, but this was the worst he had ever been. He had been doing some alternative healing stuff, so we thought that might be the reason he was in pain, cuz you know sometimes they have this thing where you're supposed to feel worse at first and then good later. Well today while on the subway home from work I saw that my mom had tried calling me, and that she had left me a text saying that he had gone to the hospital last night and that they had discovered something was really wrong with him. They didn't know what yet though. I called her from the train and while she was on the phone with me she got a call from the hospital telling her that he has cancer. That was pretty much all we knew when I wrote that previous entry.
Now they have run some more tests (MR, right?) and they know exactly what it is. He has prostate cancer and it has spread up into his back. I'm not really sure what that last thing means exactly, but I think it is in his spine. The bad news is that there is no curing it and he is going to die from it. The good news is that they are giving him about two more years to live, and that they can pretty much make him have a "healthy" life during that time. None of that chemo stuff that makes you sick. They are going to give him pills I think, that will "disconnect" his prostate, and that will keep it at bay for a while.
As for me, I'm doing pretty good considering the circumstances. I guess it's just hard to imagine what this will mean for the future. My dad won't be allowed to live anymore. My mom won't have her husband anymore. Seems so odd to me... I'm very close to my family, and it sucks not to be there right now. Thankfully I have Koff and Anders here at home to lean on. Anders lost his mother when a bus fell over her a couple of years ago, so he's going to be good to have around.
Ugh I really don't want to work tomorrow...but I don't want to stay at home either. Thank god it's such a busy job. I'd prefer to keep the sad thoughts here at home.