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28th-Nov-2006 04:35 pm

Bimbo tourist #1: Anyway, so when he pulled it out of me it made this farting noise, and I know it wasn't a fart because it didn't smell, and... It was just really embarrassing.
Bimbo tourist #2: Quip.
Bimbo tourist #1: What?
Bimbo tourist #2: A quip. The farting noise, it's called a 'quip.'
Bimbo tourist #1: Oh, they have a name for it? Wow.
Bimbo tourist #2: Oh, totally. It happens to a lot of people.
Stranger: Um, that's not right.
Bimbo tourist #2: Excuse me, sir?
Stranger: No, it's 'queef.'
Bimbo tourist #2: Wait, what?
Bimbo tourist #1: I think he's saying his name is 'Queef' or something.
Bimbo tourist #2: Oh, sorry. Excuse me, Queef?
Stranger: No... Oh, lord. The sound, it's 'queef.'
Bimbo tourist #2: Who's a 'queef?' What's going on?
Bimbo tourist #1: I think he's one of those crazy subway guys you hear about. I think he's telling us he's gay.
Stranger: I can hear you, and I'm not... What? That's 'queer,' you ingrate!
Bimbo tourist #1: Here's some money for you, sir. Buy your boyfriend a nice grocery cart or something.
Stranger: What?! Does it look like I'm homeless to you? I'm wearing fucking YSL over here... I ain't queer and I ain't homeless. You ignorant, you skinny, Paris Hilton-wannabe whores. All I was saying to you was that when your sleazy-ass friend over here pulled her boyfriend's dick out of her STD-ridden pussy, the word...
Bimbo tourist #1: I'm not following... Is he speaking Cockney or something?
Bimbo tourist #2: I don't know. Are you allowed to mace crazy hobos?
Stranger: ...I'm not fucking crazy!
Bimbo tourist #2: Of course you aren't, sir.
Passenger: Oh, shut your mouth, both of ya, or I'm gonna whoop both your scrawny asses, you hear?
Stranger: Thank you. All I was saying was...
Old lady: Ah, hell no! Can't you see this conversation has gone past anyone in this damn subway's comprehension? Know when to drop it, brother. Know when to drop it.
Bimbo tourist #2: [Mouthing] Oh my god.
Bimbo tourist #1: I know. That was intense.
Stranger, muttering to himself: ... Last time I ever take a subway... Unbelievable shit I put up with... Fucking Civics... Unreliable fuckers...

--L train
28th-Nov-2006 04:55 pm (UTC)

I love it!!!!!
28th-Nov-2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
Oh my gawd! Stupid Paris Hilton-wannabe whores.
28th-Nov-2006 05:44 pm (UTC)
Wow, and this is why I can say that I don't like people. Sometimes. Wow.
28th-Nov-2006 05:56 pm (UTC)
28th-Nov-2006 06:15 pm (UTC)
researching your (hopefully) new home city? :)
28th-Nov-2006 06:15 pm (UTC)
that was me...
29th-Nov-2006 05:21 am (UTC)
Something like that ;)
28th-Nov-2006 06:46 pm (UTC)
The L train is always lots of fun. :)
28th-Nov-2006 07:42 pm (UTC)
Markus, I just thought I'd let you know you should really join the community something2see (I don't know how to make community text into a link so I just typed the name) but it's a really cool community where people post photographs of random things . . . just like you!
29th-Nov-2006 05:27 am (UTC)
I'll check it out, thanks :)
28th-Nov-2006 08:06 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha! Why does that never happen to me?! /Leo
28th-Nov-2006 10:35 pm (UTC)
i agree.. nothing fun happened on the subway when i was in NYC
28th-Nov-2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
Geez, people these days.
28th-Nov-2006 10:56 pm (UTC)
welcome to the states, my dear...

and i am so glad you listen to abba. they are my #1 up there with goldfrapp.
29th-Nov-2006 05:28 am (UTC)
Actually, it's just that song. Sorry :P
29th-Nov-2006 01:12 am (UTC)
Ahahahahaha that's why I love new york!
29th-Nov-2006 04:16 am (UTC)
this was the funniest thing I'd read for a long time - it's like woody allen on crack
(no subject) - Anonymous
29th-Nov-2006 06:44 am (UTC)
What do you mean, the school? I haven't even sent in my application yet. I have to wait for some company to translate my grades into American ones.
29th-Nov-2006 04:30 pm (UTC)
haha.. typical :P